Hello Friends,
Few years back, I came across a quite simple but thought provoking email on relationships...romantic relationships. Romantic relationship is one of the most complex relationships on earth. Sometimes it is both sided whereas sometimes it is a one sided feeling; sometimes couples go for mutual break ups and sometimes one of them takes the decision & justy walks away. Love forever seems to be a rare event nowadys and unfortunately flirts & flings are common everywhere. This email gave me a fair explanation why people find it easy to fall in love everytrime whereas difficult to sustain it.
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happens TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades (sometimes only one partener feels this). It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking,"Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeed in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work if the other person really means it. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
*Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to*
I hope and somewhere silently wish to see ' love forever' everywhere. Life is nothing without love. Love makes the bundle of moments...a beautiful life. Do not bind love...leave it free but once in love give your 100% to sustain it. True love is a blessing of God, value it.
With a sustained lovely smile,
Pragati Soni
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Pass the biscuits...:-)
Hello Everybody,
We all know that biscuits provide nourishment to our body. So let us discuss about various kinds of biscuits available in the market like fibre biscuits, tea-time biscuits, cream biscuits, coconut biscuits and many more. Please, don't wonder. Being a foodie, I can discuss about this but not this time. However, we all agree that we need food for nourishment. This 'We' can be extended to our fellow plants & animals too. In a similar way, relationships also need nourishment. But, we do not get the right stuff always and never readily available. Because, the food for healthy relationships are not packaged & sold in supermarkets. Most of the times we have to work hard to get the healthy food to keep our life & relationships in good shape.
Few weeks back, I found a very good & short story floating on our company intranet...the story is about biscuits...I mean relationships :-) and it goes like this (in italics) followed by my thoughts:
"When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast, food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burnt biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your mummy put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides... a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
After going through this short story I thought that if we can really learn to appreciate the burnt biscuits in our lives then they can nourish our ever lasting & happy relationships :-). Infact, when I brooded over my life, I found that I have been passing burnt biscuits to my family since my childhood and they never complained and always conveyed that they enjoyed every bit of it. My family has really been my best school for learning life, living and relationships.
You know what, relationships are not the projects where accuracy is everything. One may commit a mistake or a series of mistakes over a period of time, however, most of the times not intentionally. We deal with our families,friends and many more in our lives. Sometimes we loose our patience in dealing with them if they get angry, very emotional or do or say some illogical things. Not only this, we get annoyed if our calls are not answered, our emails are not replied or if our friend couldn't turn up. Sometimes, we also feel bad, if the action or reaction is not the way we wished or imagined. We either express this negatively (active reaction) or slowly cut off (passive reaction).
One may easily get frustrated or irritated if somebody has done a mistake or a continuum of mistakes. Besides this, leaving the person is also an effortless option. However, I wonder if these reactions do any good? If we go in deep we may find that the person might be undergoing some difficult or tough times. He or she desperately needs a listening ear or a shoulder to lean upon. At this juncture, we are required to step in the lives of our near & dear ones and not to step out. It is our understanding, support & above all love that our loved ones need.
We cannot change anybody by showing anger, irritation or frustration. The reason being, only one thing in the entire universe can actually make a person to change in a true sense and that is……”Love”. Love provides the security & motivation that actually have the power to change a person for good.
The best nourishment to relationship can be provided by love which ultimately leads to understanding & patience. It is one of the best nutrition we can give to our relationships.
We need to understand that sometimes, the biscuits passed to us are burnt but not because somebody wanted them to burn but because somebody simply couldn’t help it and need us. That is it :-)
So...please pass me the biscuits... anytime you wish. And yes, a burnt one will be just fine!
With a sweet smile full of life,
Pragati Soni
We all know that biscuits provide nourishment to our body. So let us discuss about various kinds of biscuits available in the market like fibre biscuits, tea-time biscuits, cream biscuits, coconut biscuits and many more. Please, don't wonder. Being a foodie, I can discuss about this but not this time. However, we all agree that we need food for nourishment. This 'We' can be extended to our fellow plants & animals too. In a similar way, relationships also need nourishment. But, we do not get the right stuff always and never readily available. Because, the food for healthy relationships are not packaged & sold in supermarkets. Most of the times we have to work hard to get the healthy food to keep our life & relationships in good shape.
Few weeks back, I found a very good & short story floating on our company intranet...the story is about biscuits...I mean relationships :-) and it goes like this (in italics) followed by my thoughts:
"When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast, food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burnt biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your mummy put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides... a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
After going through this short story I thought that if we can really learn to appreciate the burnt biscuits in our lives then they can nourish our ever lasting & happy relationships :-). Infact, when I brooded over my life, I found that I have been passing burnt biscuits to my family since my childhood and they never complained and always conveyed that they enjoyed every bit of it. My family has really been my best school for learning life, living and relationships.
You know what, relationships are not the projects where accuracy is everything. One may commit a mistake or a series of mistakes over a period of time, however, most of the times not intentionally. We deal with our families,friends and many more in our lives. Sometimes we loose our patience in dealing with them if they get angry, very emotional or do or say some illogical things. Not only this, we get annoyed if our calls are not answered, our emails are not replied or if our friend couldn't turn up. Sometimes, we also feel bad, if the action or reaction is not the way we wished or imagined. We either express this negatively (active reaction) or slowly cut off (passive reaction).
One may easily get frustrated or irritated if somebody has done a mistake or a continuum of mistakes. Besides this, leaving the person is also an effortless option. However, I wonder if these reactions do any good? If we go in deep we may find that the person might be undergoing some difficult or tough times. He or she desperately needs a listening ear or a shoulder to lean upon. At this juncture, we are required to step in the lives of our near & dear ones and not to step out. It is our understanding, support & above all love that our loved ones need.
We cannot change anybody by showing anger, irritation or frustration. The reason being, only one thing in the entire universe can actually make a person to change in a true sense and that is……”Love”. Love provides the security & motivation that actually have the power to change a person for good.
The best nourishment to relationship can be provided by love which ultimately leads to understanding & patience. It is one of the best nutrition we can give to our relationships.
We need to understand that sometimes, the biscuits passed to us are burnt but not because somebody wanted them to burn but because somebody simply couldn’t help it and need us. That is it :-)
So...please pass me the biscuits... anytime you wish. And yes, a burnt one will be just fine!
With a sweet smile full of life,
Pragati Soni
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)